How to make a fool of yourself for just 6 dollars

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: <h2>READING THIS COULD CHANGE YOUR GENDER!</h2> : I found this on a bulletin board and decided to try it. A little while back, I was browsing through newsgroups, just like you are now, and came across an article similar to this that said you could make thousands of people annoyed in just a few short weeks, and tie up vast amounts of bandwidth while making a total stranger very, very rich -- <b>and all for an initial investment of just $6.00!!!!!</b> : So I thought, "Yeah, right . . . this must be SPAM", but like most socially inept, boring, sexually unsatisfied, acne-scarred cretins, I was curious, so I kept reading. : Anyway, it said that if you send $1.00 to each of the 6 names and addresses stated in the article, then place your own name and address in the bottom of the list at #6, and post the article in at least 200 newsgroups, people all over the world would read it and realise what a complete loser you are. And better yet, your message will get stored on hundreds of servers taking up unnecessary space and annoying site managers. : No catch, that was it. . . . . . : So after thinking it over, and talking to a few people first, I thought: "well, what have I got to lose except my self respect and all of my friends, right?" So I invested the measly $6.00. : <blink><b>Well GUESS WHAT!!...</b></blink> : Within 7 minutes, I started getting nasty messages in my e-mail! I was shocked! I figured it would end soon, but the complaints just kept coming in. In my first week, nearly fifty people told me to "wibble off" and "get a life". One guy even offered to come to my house and give me a free nose job, without anaesthetic!!! By the end of the second week I had to hide under the bed to avoid the people who were trying to assault me, and in the third week the police visited my house and charged me with operating a Ponzi scheme. This is now my fourth week and my lawyer says he may still be able to get me off if I offer to do a lot of community service and warn little kids about the evils of spamming message boards with get-rich-quick schemes. It was certainly worth $6.00, and 6 stamps, since I have met so many people and now I am even important enough to have my picture in the newspaper (I just wish they hadnt used the police mug shot photo. It doesnt show my best side) : Make sure you print a copy of this article NOW, so you can get the information off of it as you need it. I promise you that if you follow the directions exactly, you will be able to casuse more pain, grief an misery than you thought possible ! : Here are the 4 easy steps to success: : STEP 1: Get 6 separate pieces of paper. Make sure that they are not already written on, since they might turn out to be your father's alimony check or myself's welfare receipt. : Write the following on each piece of paper (be careful not to smudge the letters with your greasy fingers) : "PLEEZ PUT MEE ON YUR MAY LING LIST." : Now get 6 US $1.00 bills (They are green and square, and can usually be found in myself's purse or underneath the pillow in the morning after "Uncle Fred" comes to visit.) Place ONE inside each of the 6 pieces of paper. If you have trouble counting to six, just stuff them all in one envelope, it wont matter much anyway. : MAKE SURE THAT THERE ARE ENOUGH STAMPS ON YOUR ENVELOPES. Lots of people overlook this very important point. The post office wont deliver a letter unless it has a stamp! : What you are doing is creating a service. THIS IS ABSOLUTELY LEGAL! You are requesting a legitimate service and you are paying for it! Like most of us I was a little skeptical and a little worried about the legal aspects of it all. So I checked it out with the U.S. Post Office (1-800-725-2161) and they confirmed that, indeed, some really bright guy who wanted to make a huge amount of money from pathetic drooling morons like you figured out a way to use a legal loophole and avoid being arrested for running a Ponzi scheme. In fact, if I hadnt been so stupid as to forget to include the little pieces of paper that said "please put me on your mailing list" I might have been able to beat the rap too. Oh well . . . just make sure that YOU follow the directions, OK? : Next, mail the 6 envelopes to the following addresses: : #1) Smoking Man : PO Box 12345 : Gstaad, SWITZERLAND : : : #2) Smoking Man : PO Box 33333 : Gstaad, SWITZERLAND : : #3) Smoking Man : PO Box 78910 : Gstaad, SWITZERLAND : : #4) Smoking Man : PO Box 69 : Gstaad, SWITZERLAND : : #5) Smoking Man : PO Box 55555 : Gstaad, SWITZERLAND : : : : #6) Smoking Man : PO Box 362436 : Gstaad, SWITZERLAND : : STEP 2: Now post this message to at least 200 newsgroups. (I think there are close to 24,000 groups) All you need is 200, but remember, the more you post, the more money I make!!!!! : Please remember that this program remains successful because of the incredible stupidity and gullibility of idiots like you, and by their ability to read the words carefully and follow the directions. : ---DIRECTIONS ----- FOR HOW TO POST TO NEWSGROUPS------------ : Step 1) You do not need to re-type this entire letter to do your own posting. Simply put your cursor at the beginning of this letter and drag your cursor to the bottom of this document, and select 'copy' from the edit menu. This will copy the entire letter into the computer's memory. Isnt this fun! I bet you didnt know that you were going to get a lesson in how to use a computer properly. Makes you realise what a good deal you're getting for just six bucks! : Step 2) Open a blank 'notepad' file and place your cursor at the top of the blank page. From the 'edit' menu select 'paste'. This will paste a copy of the letter into notepad so that you can add your name. Please be sure to use the Notepad PROGRAM, not an acutal notepad from your mommy's desk. Thats it -- that little icon on your computer : screen. Good! : Step 3) Save your new notepad file. Try not to forget where you put this file. : Step 4) Use Netscape or Internet Explorer and try searching for various newsgroups (on-line forums, message boards, chat sites, discussions.) Dont just repost the message to the same news group you read this message on . . . <big> because I already DID that you little twit, and I dont want you taking any of the money from any of the retards on this list. That money belongs to ME!!!!!</big> : Congratulations...THAT'S IT! : ***** REMEMBER, THE MORE NEWSGROUPS YOU POST IN (Message-boards etc.) THE MORE PEOPLE YOU WILL ANNOY AND THE MORE LIKELY YOU ARE TO GET A VISIT FROM THE POLICE, OR AT LEAST FROM SOME IRATE MESSAGE BOARD MANAGER NAMED SPIKE WHO WEARS A TATTOO THAT SAYS "<i>KILL EM ALL -- LET GOD SORT EM OUT</i>" ***** : : Now the WHY part: : Out of 200 people, say only 5 of them are so gullible and mentally challenged that they actually think this scam makes sense (I know that seems like a lot, but youd be surprised at how many idiots you can find on online chat sites). Since my name is on all six positions on the list, I just made $30.00! : Now, if each of the 5 persons who just sent me money make the MINIMUM 200 postings, each will take up around 25000 bytes of memory on a server (thats known as "25K". You can use that word to impress your friends). In total that makes 25000000 bytes, or 25 MB (If you say "25 megs", that will REALLY impress your friends) That is also : another $150.00 for me, assuming that none of them were bright enough to take my name off the list and add their own at all six spots. : Now, those 25 people each make 200 MINIMUM posts which means 5000 posts of 25K each, which adds up to . . . . . well, you get the idea. Pretty soon there will be a huge clutter of meaningless spam all over the internet, and plus, I will have made a lot of money off stupid suckers like you. : For an original investment of only $6.00, that is just AMAZING! : The thing to remember is: a fool and his money are soon parted. : What are you waiting for fool? Get started right away!!!! : <h3>Don't let this exciting opportunity pass you by!</h3>

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